♥ Monday, September 18, 2006♥
Things don't seem to be getting any better. Still the same. The same silence, the same coldness, the same emptiness. Got class later as usual, Cat may not be coming. I got an exam on Wednesday and I like totally forgot about it. Haix, another quiz on Friday too..Things becoming more hectic. I wonder how I'm gonna juggle my time.
He did share what was bothering him but I feel that's only part of it. There's still something else, which he's not saying. Last time, picturing the future was something important, now it seems, maybe its not that important anymore. What matters now probably is what's happening now. Can't put to words how I feel, but, somebody, anybody, who can really read me, please tell me what's becoming of me.
Sometimes things get really tiring for me, sometimes things on his side get too tiring for him too. But I know I'll be there if he ever needs me, anytime. Than I wonder, who would be there when I really need someone too? I guess I depend alot on myself. My friends always say " Can one la, you very strong de " but sometimes, the strongest person can be weak at times too.
Sometimes when all you want is to help someone, but because the truth is harsh, the other party wouldn't wanna hear what you've gotta say or ain't gonna like what u gonna say. Sometimes they don't appreciate what you do for them and when u try helping, the jump to their defense, saying things like " you wouldn't understand cause you're not me " or " I guess you're not the right one I can talk to " . I mean, C'mon, yes I may not understand fully but if you do say it I can understand it better, of cause not fully but at least get a clearer view of it. And just because I don't agree with what you say or am not saying what you wanna hear, I believe only people who truly care for you will tell you the truth about how things are, and normally the truth hits you really badly, most of the time the truth slaps you really hard. It all depends if it can knock you back to reality.
// - lost me.lost.identity. *
Trackback on the weekend:-
16.o9.06
Woke up damn early. Couldn't sleep. Those nights are coming back. Anyway met up with Crystal than picked him up. Went Chinatown for dinner. Met up with Kenny & Michelle at 80bar. Had supper at the prata place under his block, returned the DVD's and went home.
*bruises..haix``
17.o9.06
Its our 9th month together but something's bothering him. He seems upset. Met up for dinner at St George than went for a movie at PS [.Pulse.] . Horror's not really my kind of thing but well, I'm fine with any movie.
fadiing away;
* gone @10:19 AM
Amanda
